If you are thinking of getting married or even just living together, it may be very helpful to contemplate on some issues. Because, this issues can drive a wedge in your relationship. Besides, marriage is one of the biggest decisions of your life. That’s deciding to spend the rest of your life with one person. To share everything with them and to give them all of you.
However, marriage is kind of scary but it’s also pretty exciting. It’s very true that, we all have to get married at some point or the other. Marriage is part of life; like everything else that takes you forward and helps you grow.
Below are some issues that you may not have thought about, but you must, before getting married. None of these should be seen as a big deal. Because, love itself can provide motivation to work through virtually anything.
Things Every Couple Must Discuss Before Getting Married
1. Do you want to have children or not?
This is important because they can change your life. Do you want them? If so, how many? If yes, who is going to be the primary caregiver? But If no, are you sure enough about that decision? Will you take permanent steps to ensure you don’t have them such as vasectomy? If you do want them, when do you want to have your first? Are you open to adoption or fertility treatments if you’re unable to conceive naturally?
2. Do you understand each other’s values?
Long before making that commitment to get married, it’s important to communicate and discuss your individual values and beliefs. Do you understand each others beliefs such as religion, family and politics? You may not always agree, but you need to respect each other’s viewpoints. This is to ensure that they’re not a deal-breaker before saying “I do”. Besides, if you do find yourselves on opposite ends, know that it can still work, but it might take some extra effort.
3. Do you have a clear idea of each other’s financial status?
Money is often tied up with all kinds of emotional importance. It can carry the weight of its association with everything from freedom to security to power and status. Do you have any debt? If yes, what is the plan for paying it off? Do you think alike interms of saving and spending? Furthermore, talk about how you’ll share/divide living expenses, how you plan to live, and whether you both expect to work till retirement.
4. What’s the nature of your work?
How committed is each of you to your careers? Do you live to work or work to live? How will your respective careers affect family life? Where are you in terms of living a “dream career”? Do you have more schooling and apprenticing to finish? If so, what’s the time frame for completing these steps toward obtaining the kind of job you hope for? What kind of personal sacrifices will you have to make to climb the career ladder of your choice?